It took me years to know it only gets better,
So my beloved do not give up until it gets better.
One day you will realize the love within you,
One day you will realize the strength within you.
I too was someone who hated her life, who hated herself and people’s lies,
I too was someone who was all alone, scared, betrayed and became stone.
But you and me we are the same, I am you and you are me,
And I hope you find the strength within you, just like me.
I had lost a battle I couldn’t even explain,
Even when I cried they didn’t see my pain.
I wish they knew how much I loved them,
I wish they saw the heart that had loved them.
Had they asked for my life, I wouldn’t have thought twice,
But now I sit here paying the price.
Because love doesn’t come in all smiles and rainbows,
There is pain, there is agony and there are intolerable woes.
They treated me like I wasn’t their child, like I was different, like I wasn’t theirs,
But that wasn’t true because our DNA matched, our surnames matched and our noses too.
I was their blood so surely they’d love me,
That was a misconception that would always haunt me.
The decision was made, I had to leave,
My eyes were numb and heart was full of grief.
I looked back one last time and,
Silently said in my mind,
If my love wasn’t enough, I beg your forgiveness,
Because what I wanted to give was all of me.
Gave my soul, my love and my broken heart,
And just like everyone, you destroyed me part by part.
But now I refused to live in these dungeons,
Where hate and anger was spread in abundance.
You have a purpose, you have a dream,
Do what you want and be who you want to be.
With a heavy heart, I walked away,
For the first time, I listened to my heart and chose not to stay.
It wasn’t easy but it was for the best,
My parents’ love for me was my biggest test.
Love is beautiful, don’t get me wrong,
But love that destroys you is always wrong.
I loved my parents endlessly and still do,
But it can cost you everything for you to be you.
Going into care was the best decision I made,
So many painful memories I had to fade,
This place gave me comfort, it gave me hope,
It gave me strength, it gave me friends.
I was a soul who was wandering aimlessly,
A child who was neglected so ruthlessly.
I never knew how strangers could be family,
But where there is love, anyone can become family.
It’s crazy to have people who understand you so clearly,
Who listen to listen and not to reply,
It’s crazy that you know these people barely,
But they don’t question you or ask why.
They taught me life isn’t a competition that needs to be won,
Just do what makes you happy and have fun.
They taught me to love myself for me and
Never change regardless of who they want you to be.
You are enough and always will be,
And people will love you regardless of who you choose to be.
Walking away from trauma and hate isn’t easy,
but knowing you deserve better will make it easy.
You are a precious soul, who deserves to be loved and cherished,
And one day all the pain from your heart will perish.
I pray that just like me, you too find the love within yourself,
I pray that just like me, you too find the strength within yourself.
The moment I left became my biggest achievement.
The moment I decided never to look back became my biggest achievement.
The moment I realised I deserved a better life and decided to leave the toxic environment I once called home became my biggest achievement.
My biggest achievement was within the moment that I found the strength within myself,
The strength to walk away.
And I hope you find the strength too.
This poem was an entry in our ‘Write Speak Share’ writing competition. The theme for the competition was ‘Your Biggest Achievement’.