Before I tell you about my achievement, I would love you to read my back story, I apologise if I ramble on a little but I promise you I’ll get to the point.
I was nine when I first came into care. I remember the day so vividly. It was the summer, and my mom had a missed call from an unknown number. When she called back it turned out it was social services and they were coming round to the house where I lived with my mom, brothers, and sisters. When they turned up holding a carrier for my baby brother my mom burst into tears and then we all calmly packed our stuff up, my mom silently crying.
From then on it was just a huge blur of placements. They decided to keep the girls together and the boys together. I didn’t want to be separated from any of them and the pain of knowing I won’t see them every day, which had been normal to me for my whole life, hurt so much. Being older I felt responsible for them all, they all had different needs. I’d been the mom they never had…but now I wasn’t.
We saw mom three times a week first, at a contact center. It was short and sweet and she mothered us like never before. When the court case finished it was decided that we would stay put in foster care, and our visits were shortened to once a month. I missed her more than words could ever describe. Then it was finally decided that we could only visit her once every two months. So I saw my mom four times a year, and sometimes my nan if she could make it. We went to the same place every time. A different contact worker every time. I loved every contact with her…my beautiful, strong mom.
I can’t exactly remember our last contact, our last conversation… all I can do is hope that is was a loving one, a funny one. You see, she passed away in 2017. So sudden. I can’t tell you how broken I was. 14 and losing her like that. I remember sitting at the table and both my foster carers sitting me and my sister down, she was younger than me. Tears ran down their face as they found it hard to get the words out. I felt suddenly sick. My sister panicked, as she stared at them both, lost and confused. Then they said it. I can honestly tell you I felt my heart break. Just like that, a click of a finger and my world was turned upside down again.
My mom was only in her thirties when she died. She wasn’t innocent though, I can tell you that. When we lived with her, we witnessed all sorts. She loved the pub and we’d be taken to one near enough every night, every weekend. She smoked non-stop as well. I always wished she wouldn’t smoke but never said it. Oh and the boyfriends! One after another. The thing about my mom she wasn’t really… a mom, but more of that naughty best friend that you have who, although they do things they shouldn’t, will always be there when you need them, will tell you anything and relies on you and visa versa for support and love and happiness.
Now here’s the incredible part of my story (finally!). My mom achieved something big after death. She saved five people. Five strangers who were battling an organ condition. She saved them with her organs. My beautiful mom was now my hero. She had signed up to be an organ donor and how amazing that she did. This makes me so happy…I’m literally smiling right now.
Not long back I was on The One Show and it was a huge moment for me and my mom and I was able to spread awareness of organ donation just for her. I crashed the organ donation website! This was my big achievement. Getting to go on live television and talking to people across the nation about my mom. That will live with me forever. It was hard, believe me, but worth every second. I made a little video and it was the most nerve-racking thing but exciting thing I have ever done! All I can say now is I hope I made her proud because I’ll always be proud of her.
Find out more about organ donation here.
This blog was an entry in our ‘Write Speak Share’ writing competition. The theme for the competition was ‘Your Biggest Achievement’.